Pick A Number!

In two weeks it is plausible that I can take a pregnancy test and it will be positive. That is crazy, scary and exciting.

I have my first (and only) lining check next week and assuming that is fine, the transfer (aka “Hatch and Latch Day”) is scheduled for the following week. At that point, we may need to finalize the number of embryos we will transfer.

We have two. In the beginning, I was 80% feeling like we should put two back, because that’s what we have done in the past. Plus the two we put back from the same cycle didn’t work, so odds are (in my IVF/IF scarred mind) that just one wouldn’t work. Then I thought about it and went to 80% sure we should put one back. Knowing that are a good enough quality to freeze and since they were from the same cycle that didn’t work, one of the two have to be “normal”, right? Yes, I realize I said the same thing to make both points, but that is why I keep going back and forth.

Here is what I want from this cycle, if someone can tell me what the right answer is that would be great:

To get pregnant, to stay pregnant, to deliver a healthy baby and to bring our child home.

M said he is 70% leaning towards one embryo and as of last night I said I was 70% leaning towards two. Today after reading a post about a mother who delivered her twins exactly at 24w and lost one of them, I am 30% leaning towards two.

I guess I know my answer, I am just scared that I am going to be mad at myself if one doesn’t work, thinking that putting two back would result in a pregnancy. If we put two back and it doesn’t work, then we can at least not waste another 3 months doing a FET and jump right into a fresh cycle. The problem seems to be I can easily talk myself into putting one or two back. I just can’t commit to a number!

Speaking of numbers, I am upping my Synthroid to 75mcg now. My new endo must have been thinking about me some more because she just called to tell me to take 150mcg this Sunday and then continue with 75mcg in order to get my TSH down to optimal level before the transfer.

In other news, M and I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow night. The same day as my estrogen shot. For someone who is going to use her baby as an accessory. I’m excited, can you tell? Why is it the last few baby showers happened right before or in the middle of cycling.

I am looking forward to going on a “date” with M, though. I hope to leave the shower early and get a drink by ourselves. Happy Friday everyone!

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Where Does The Time Go

After my appointment on Saturday, I forced myself to go to the gym even though I was starting to get sick. I figured I’d help out the smaller follies by increasing my blood flow.

Speaking of blood, after I got my genetic testing done, I told my sister that I was positive for hetero MTHFR and suggested she get tested since it can affect pregnancy. Turns out she also has the mutation and her dr gave her a prescription for folic acid and told her to start taking baby aspirin. I read previously that a lot of women going through IVF take baby aspirin as part of their normal protocol. Supposedly, aspirin can have a positive effect on the body’s immune system and the associated antibodies that may interfere with the embryo’s ability to implant. It is also said to help improve blood supply resulting in improved egg quality and lining. All things that I want!! So I spoke to my nurse and asked her if I should/can start taking it. She needed to would email Dr. L. and get back to me. (Side note- I really don’t know why I bother with her, I could have easily emailed Dr. L. myself ) Anywho, Dr. L. said yes, I can go ahead and take it. So I’ve added another pill to my regime. I really need a pill organizer.

Back to Saturday. So late in the afternoon, I got a call from the nurse. My estrogen was only 83, with about 16 follies, the leader being 12.7mm. No bueno. Dr. L. reviewed my file and upped my meds and asked to see me on Monday morning. I am really thankful for keeping track of my progress last time so I have a point of reference even if no two cycles are the same.

I went it today for my second monitoring appointment. I lost track of what day of stims I am on, until I hopped in the car really fast since I was in a rush. My ovaries kindly reminded me that they are hard at work and to start to take it easy with them. I get to the clinic and go through the motions.

Sign in… wait…get called back for blood…verify name & DOB… go to u/s waiting area… wait…get called in for u/s…verify name & DOB…undress get wished an early happy birthday….

Right, that’s this week. This year, Universe, if you are listening, I would like to get (and stay) pregnant for my birthday.

As for my progress today- the tech seemed happy with how things were looking.
Here are the final results. Estrogen is 292. 14 Follicles were counted today, 9 were measured: 12.4, 11mm (3), 10mm (1), 9mm (2), 8mm (2). Now off to compare to last time!

Wishing Well

This past week has been pretty emotional.

First of all, I want to give a shout out to my sister. She is insanely generous and supportive. There is nothing that M and I can say or do to ever thank her and my BIL enough.

We also found out that IVF #2 has been approved and since I met my OOP max we don’t have to put down another $4k deposit. And if my calculations are correct and based off of all the submitted claims from IVF #1, IVF#2 will cost us around $2,000 (including meds)!

All awesome things. Then I looked at Facebook on Friday to see two people announced their pregnancy and another person posted pics of her newborn. Blah. This set me back a little.  I still am sad that we are approaching the year mark with a failed IUI and IVF and no luck.

M and I needed some alone time to refocus on us, and not anything baby related. So we decided to take a day trip to see some caverns. It was exactly what we needed.  The caverns were beautiful and we had a really good time just hanging out with each other. Towards the end of the tour, we saw a formation called the “Wishing Well”.

wishing well

 

As we walked by, people were tossing coins and making their wishes. M pointed out that there were even dollars in there, so I joked that those people had big wishes. I was bummed since I didn’t have any money on me, but luckily M did. So M went first and he tossed a quarter in “for Seamus” and I tossed one in for a “baby gator” (M went to University of Florida). And just for good measure, M threw a dollar in.

I hope that our wishes come true this time around.