So today was the big day.
M dropped off his sample and then we waited until it was my turn. The clinic needed about a hour to wash/prep the sperm. Once my name was called, M and I went back into one of the monitoring rooms. I was hoping they would do another u/s to check out my lining, but no luck.
Dr. L. came in and gave us the SA results. After the washing, we were looking at 2.7million sperm. Dr. L felt it was high enough to proceed, but I know that ideally anything below 5 million and your odds decrease. So I asked him what sort of odds we were looking at, he said about 5%. I can’t tell you what M was thinking or feeling, but at that moment I decided if this doesn’t work, I am ready to do IVF.
If I am going to have to take four different types of fertility drugs, be poked and prodded by random people, and go to the doctor’s office weekly, damn it I want better odds.
I know that all sounds so negative, and it only takes 1 sperm. But I can’t sit here and pretend we have good odds. Hell, people who do IVF and have a 40% chance don’t always succeed. Why should I be happy with the 5% chance? Yes, it’s much higher than the 1% chance we’d have naturally, but when you want a family as much as I do, 5% isn’t high enough.
I think because I have realistic expectations, perhaps this wait won’t be so bad. I am going to email Dr. L. next week and ask him if we should set up an appointment to go over the next steps to start IVF.
I am being proactive not negative. As long as I have a plan and way to increase our odds I won’t feel as bad.