The one and only IUI?

So today was the big day.

M dropped off his sample and then we waited until it was my turn. The clinic needed about a hour to wash/prep the sperm. Once my name was called, M and I went back into one of the monitoring rooms. I was hoping they would do another u/s to check out my lining, but no luck.

Dr. L. came in and gave us the SA results. After the washing, we were looking at 2.7million sperm. Dr. L felt it was high enough to proceed, but I know that ideally anything below 5 million and your odds decrease. So I asked him what sort of odds we were looking at, he said about 5%. I can’t tell you what M was thinking or feeling, but at that moment I decided if this doesn’t work, I am ready to do IVF.

If I am going to have to take four different types of fertility drugs, be poked and prodded by random people, and go to the doctor’s office weekly, damn it I want better odds.

I know that all sounds so negative, and it only takes 1 sperm. But I can’t sit here and pretend we have good odds. Hell, people who do IVF and have a 40% chance don’t always succeed. Why should I be happy with the 5% chance? Yes, it’s much higher than the 1% chance we’d have naturally, but when you want a family as much as I do, 5% isn’t high enough.

I think because I have realistic expectations, perhaps this wait won’t be so bad. I am going to email Dr. L. next week and ask him if we should set up an appointment to go over the next steps to start IVF.

I am being proactive not negative. As long as I have a plan and way to increase our odds I won’t feel as bad.

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Two steps forward….

Two steps back.

The nurse called.

M’s SA results are worse than last time. Volume dropped 30million and morphology went from 3% to 2%. Ugh. The good news (I am trying to be positive here) is that motility increased from 26% to 38%. Still below what Dr. L. wants to see but many the supplements are helping? Dr. Google leads me to believe with these numbers Dr. L. is going to recommend IVF. I want to cry. I don’t want to do IVF.

I tell M the news. He is devastated. I focus on the positive and tell him that it was a bad day. We will be fine. I need to believe this for myself too.

The other step back is my thyroid. When TTC, your TSH levels should be 1-2, definitely no higher than 2.5. Mine was 8.25. That’s four times higher than what it should be. Again, Dr. Google tells me this is bad news! It’s harder to get pregnant and stay pregnant. The nurse wants to do more bloodwork to verify the results and also to look at a few more thyroid hormones.

We have identified we are working slow swimmers and a lazy thyroid. Awesome.