Anxiety Attack

You guys I close to being on the verge of tears and my heart is pounding. Seriously, my heart rate is 95 right now typing this out.

I am so scared for tomorrow’s ultrasound. Sunday night I got sick, yesterday I felt ok and today I have some mild cramps. My “symptoms” are all over the place and come and go and don’t seem as bad as they did when I was pregnant with the girls. Maybe it was because it was twins? Girls?

All I know is that I am preparing myself for the worst tomorrow. I am so scared that I am going to get there and the RE say the words no one ever should hear “sorry there is no heartbeat”. IF and multiple loss PTSD is real.



Suspected Ectopic

My plate is full which is why I have been MIA.

On Thursday, I went back for blood work and an u/s. My lining was still really thin (4mm) and my beta came back at 329. I started spotting so that was the only thing working in my favor. I was told to make an appointment for Saturday to get another u/s and more blood work.

Well, I went in and my lining is even thinner (3mm) and I am having period like bleeding.

The u/s showed a small mass on my right ovary. The RE wasn’t completely convinced it was a sac and said the blood work would be more telling. Since I am bleeding, she said if my beta went down by 15% she would be safe in not giving the methotrexate shot.

I just got a call that my beta went up to 381. F*ck. So I have to go back to get this stupid shot now. What is weird is that my right side feels fine and I actually feel more sore/sensitive on my left side. I guess it doesn’t matter since this shot will eliminate anything where ever it is.

I also found out that my platelets were slightly elevated again. This is now the third CBC that has shown slightly elevate platelets.

Since I have to stop all supplements and prenatals with the methotrexate shot, I will go back to my PCP and tell them I want a full panel with a smear done to see what is causing the higher platelets. It could be as simple as anemia but maybe it is related to inflammation caused by some AI issues.


Results Are In

We are officially pregnant.

I was able to go in for my beta this morning. At 10dp5dt, my beta is 227.

I go back Friday and am keeping my fingers crossed that we get another strong number. I am not sure it’s completely sunken in yet to be honest. I know all about the IVF process and what numbers mean, what’s “normal” and how things should progress. This being pregnant part is all new territory though, but I am enjoying every moment of it.