Yesterday I felt fine. Sad, but physically ok. No cramps and light bleeding/heavy spotting. I decided to clean the house. The last week I’ve been taking it easy to so it felt good to be up and doing something. Even symbolic I suppose. Sort of like wiping the slate clean.
Today, I have cramps and the bleeding has picked up. I suppose my body got the memo and is working to eliminate any thing remaining of this pregnancy.
Besides being angry and disappointed, I’m nervous to try again. But I also don’t want to give up.
I’m not sure where we go from here though.
We have one frozen embryo left. It hasn’t been tested though so I’m not sure if I want to use it. Or maybe we do a fresh cycle first. Then the question is do we test those (provided we have anything that makes it to day 5/6) and wait to do another FET.
There are other factors that are weighing on my mind-
Prior to the transfer and the day after this loss, my platelets have been slightly high. Is this a red flag? Research says not really but I need confirmation I guess.
Given that I have hashimtos, should my RE or endo be suggested something that I’m not currently doing besides taking Synthroid.
We have some insurance coverage – only 2 more cycles will be partially covered (PGS won’t be). I’d like to maximize this as much as possible since I may meet my OOP deductible by the end of the year.
We did some testing after the first failed cycle (ANA, MTHFR, etc) the only thing that it showered was Hetro MTHFR. Does this need to be repeated? Can things blood clotting issues change ? I’m already taking baby aspirin due to MTHFR -is that enough?
I think if I have a plan I will feel better. I just don’t want to keep at this with the same result and want to make sure we are doing everything we can to increase our odds.
I realize this seems like I’m probably not hurt by the loss since I’m so focused on moving forward. The thing is if I really stop to think about it I don’t think I can move forward. It so hard to think that M and I have lost two babies. Especially when I look at H, because I know just how amazing she is and how full she has made our lives and hearts. I hope Brynn and Olo know just how much they were wanted and are loved.