15dp5dt= 5 Weeks

Today’s beta was 124. Low compared to “normal” implanters, but I am trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that the beta is doubling. In fact, it doubled in 34 hours.

I am scared. Like super nervous that since the beta is low and it was a late implanter that we won’t make it to 6 weeks to see the heartbeat. Maybe that is fear from the miscarriage in August talking. I just feel like I am about to wake up from this dream at any time and this pregnancy will be over.

I am trying really hard to focus on the here and now though. I’ve already told my family. I regret not telling them about Olo until after we lost him. I need all of the prayers and support I can get. I have left it up to M to decided whether or not he wants to tell his parents.

Dr. L wants to me to back on Friday for another beta. In the meantime I think I will buy a CBE week estimator and take it tomorrow. By that point, my beta should be 200 and I should get a 2-3 weeks on the test. That will provide me some comfort I think, well I hope!


We Might Have a Chance 

Spotting has just about stopped. Thank God. 

I didn’t sleep great last night. This just feels like a dream. I’m still in shock. I told M we didn’t even have a name for this little bean. For now, we are calling the baby Noah. Ya know, because he sruvrived the great flood (i.e. period/bleeding). 

Today’s test has given me so hope. I know anything can happen but I will gladly take each day I get that I stay pregnant! 

The top test was from yesterday and the bottom two are from today.

I’m still in complete disbelief! 

Happy Monday

So after Friday’s crappy beta, I decided to take a few more tests over the weekend. Nothing looked great and I got a negative on a test yesterday. Today I had my second beta but didn’t even bother testing.

Once I got home I decided to test just once more before I would gulp down a large McD’s sweet tea. I was prepared to see one single line.

I wasn’t prepared to see a positive pregnancy test. After a few “Holy Shit”s and “Are you effing kidding me?” panic crept in. I had two glasses of wine, coffee and skipped yesterday’s meds.

My nurse called at 2 and was giddy. She said you aren’t going to believe this, but your beta went up to 47.8! That is a doubling time of 36.5 hours. I am in shock right now. I am pregnant.

My nurse and I think that maybe both embryos implanted but one didn’t take, and that is why I bled. But the other one, well that is trying to stick around. I am praying that means this one is normal and strong. Praying that it is nice and cozy and sticks around for 9 months.

So back on my meds and no more wine or caffeine for this lady. I go back on Wednesday for another beta. As we were hanging up my nurse said, “if I weren’t already a praying woman, I would start now!”.