Beta is in.


Higher than what I thought. But still extremely low, coupled with the fact that I am still bleeding is not a good sign.

My nurse was sympathetic and suggested we set up a follow up appointment. I told her I already did and said it’s becoming apparent I can’t stay pregnant. She said Dr. L would probably just suggest PGD testing. The problem is still that we don’t have enough embryos to test!

Oh, and my TSH was 3.9. Ugh. I took another pill to bring it help down, but obviously I need to monitor this more closing. I don’t really love my endo. I feel like she doesn’t seem to think Hashi’s is a big deal. Her office staff annoys me and I really avoid them if I can. I like the fact that she wanted to test my A1C (which was fine) and vitamin D levels (lowish but she didn’t suggest I up my supplementation). I just an not sure she’s up to date on thyroid and infertility. Maybe it’s not the issue. Who knows?

All I know at this point in the stage is that something needs to change.

I have an appointment with a new RE next Thurs. She was referred by a few people who have thyroid issues and one of few that does immune testing.



Everything but the kitchen sink

I’ve been researching what I can do to possibly improve our odds this cycle when I stumbled on some studies that show that women with Hashimtotos who have taken  steroids during their cycle have improved pregnancy rates. 
So I asked my nurse about it. She double checked with Dr. L and we are going to throw Prednisolone into the mix this time. In theory, if my immune system is attacking my thyroid (which it is), perhaps it’s also attacking the transferred embryos? 

Since we are doing another FET, I will use PIO instead of endometrium. This will be the first time for that too. I’m a little nervous about it to be honest. I fully expect to have a bruised sore ass. 

As part of my now standard cycles, I requested an endometrial scatch. This time, Dr. L said he would send the sample to be biopsied to ensure there is no inflammation. This was the first time he’s ever mentioned that as a possibility. I don’t know if he saw something or as he put it “after everything we’ve been through, just want to make sure everything is good”. After the biopsy, I met with my nurse. We went over dates, meds and next steps. She said she would get the biopsy results in a week or so. I pressed her a little and if she thought Dr. L was concerned. She said like we discussed we are throwing everything but the kitchen sink into this cycle. If it turns out I have Endometritis, then I have to take antibiotics and then she tells me she’s had patients have a lot of success with Doxycycline. I was confused if my lining was inflamed wouldn’t the steroid take care of that? I asked her what would cause the inflammation. She said it could be a STD (um, really? ) or just a normal process. So of course the minute I left, I googled like crazy. 

Per NIH:

Endometritis is caused by an infection in the uterus. It can be due to chlamydia, gonorrhea, tuberculosis, or a mix of normal vaginal bacteria. It is more likely to occur after miscarriage or childbirth. It is also more common after a long labor or C-section.

The risk of endometritis is higher after having a pelvic procedure that is done through the cervix. Such procedures include:

  • D and C
  • Endometrial biopsy
  • Hysteroscopy
  • Placement of an intrauterine device (IUD)

As part of the whole IVF process you have to get tested for STDs, so I’m in the clear there. Given in the last 5 months, I’ve had a biopsy, miscarriage, another biopsy, Hysteroscopy, a retrieval and  transfer- yeah I’d say that I’ve had a few procedures done through my cervix. 

If I had to guess after reading the symptoms, I don’t think my lining is inflamed. I guess we will find out and better to be safe than sorry. 

So there we have it. A few new things going on but for the time being, I’m still in the prep mode and won’t start shots for another 11 days. 

Bumpy Thyroid & Crazy Ovulation

At my last RE appointment, we were all guessing I would get a positive OPK on Wed/Thursday. Well, I didn’t get one until late Friday. And then I continued to get them through Monday, so not really sure what that means for this cycle. I had some O pains on Friday/Saturday, so I am guessing I ovulated then. I didn’t temp to confirm this month so I could be 9dpo or 7dpo, who knows.

I also had an appointment with my Endo. She agreed that I needed increase my meds to 50mcg. Here is the weird thing- she thinks taking it  7x a week would be too much ( I disagree and told her that) but she said that once I start the bcp I should increase it to 7x a week. I am okay with that plan for now. The last time it was checked it was in the 2 range and that was taking 25mcg 6x a week and 50mcg 1x a week.  I guess she is all about how it averages out over the week. My old endo would just have me take the same dose every day. To each their own I guess. At the end of the appointment she did an exam and said my thyroid felt bumpy. She wanted me to get an ultrasound just to be on the safe side before we start the FET process.

When I went to the ultrasound place, I was surrounded by pregnant people. Since we have been blessed with H, I felt ok being there. They were going to get to see their babies and that made me happy for them.  It’s so incredibly hard to be happy for someone when you are struggling and I think that is perfectly ok and normal. I wish I would have accepted that two years ago. Anyway, the nurse called me and two very pregnant ladies back all at the same time to the changing rooms. While I technically wasn’t there because I am pregnant, I still felt like I was there as part of the pregnancy process. I don’t know how much sense that makes to anyone else.

Anyway, the radiologist said my thyroid looks exactly like it would for someone with Hashimotos. Being an expert in ultrasounds now, I was able to see what she was talking about. It was patchy and filled with black spots (bumps).

Here is what a normal thyroid looks like:

Screen Shot 2015-06-01 at 12.13.33 PM

And this is what mine looks like:


The radiologist said I should have an ultrasound done every year or two just to make sure nodules don’t develop since I am at a slightly increase risk of thyroid cancer due to Hashimotos. I know there have been studies and publications on gluten and Hashimotos, I should really research more. My very first Endo suggested going GF, but my second one said it wouldn’t matter. I haven’t asked my current Endo. Yes, that makes 3 Endos. I am picky about my Dr’s what can I say?

So besides have a bumpy and patchy thyroid, everything looked good!

Now, we wait for AF to show so I can get on the pill. Happy Monday!

D Day

We had our follow up with Dr. L.

Here’s the good news:
My AMH is 2.8 – that’s awesome. I have a good ovarian reserve. My tubes are open and uterus looks good. I have a small fibroid, but it’s tiny and Dr. L doesn’t seem concerned. My other hormone levels are all within normal range, minus the pesky thyroid.

The not so good news:
This last test shows that my TSH is 4.13 and my TPOab is 109. Your TPOab shouldn’t be any higher than 30. That being said, Dr. L. said I should make an appointment with an Endocrinologist and get on Snythroid. Luckily, I am one step ahead thanks to Dr. Google ahead and have an appointment set up for next week. M’s SA isn’t ideal. Dr. L recommends IVF with ICSI. That’s where they pick the best looking sperm and inject it directly into the best looking egg.

I’ve read enough and know that IVF is no joke. The meds you have to inject yourself with, the retrieval process, the stress and emotional toll that wears on your relationship, and not to mention the cost- it’s never a fun day to hear that this is really your best chance to have a baby. Both M and I would do anything to have Baby Seamus, so why is saying “ok, let’s do IVF” so hard??

I am scared and mad. I realize I sound like a three year old when I say this- but I don’t want to do IVF. But who the hell does??

Just like when you are a little girl and you think about planning your wedding day, you think about having kids. No where in those day dreams did I think I would be at a fertility clinic. It’s not fair- it’s not supposed to be like this.

After my mind is done racing, I turned to M and said, I’m not ready for IVF. I asked Dr. L since my AMH was good if we have a few months before we “have” to do IVF. He said yes, he was just concerned that we would get burned out if we kept trying without results. He’s right- it’s exhausting. M and I agree to start with a few rounds of IUI. We will take baby steps.