Tomorrow will be two years since we found out that you left us.
This week of the year is one of the hardest for me. I remember two years ago feeling twitches. You and your sister moving around and kicking each other. I remember going to the anatomy scan and confirming we had healthy twin girls. And this time, you were the one who was kicking H.
Three weeks later, our world came crashing down. What was supposed to be the best birthday present for your dad was the worst.
We went home, in shock, and just cried. I felt sick. I don’t understand what happened or why it happened. I don’t think I ate or showered for days. And all the while, H was moving around and I felt her. Grieving for you and trying to stay strong for your sister felt impossible to balance.
When I’m laying in bed with H now, I think of how you two would snuggle, play and giggle if you were here with us. It brings tears to me eyes. I still can’t talk about you without crying.
I’m searching for a book for H to help me explain our family. And how she has the most beautiful sister in heaven. A true angel.
This is the last picture I have of you. I’m so grateful for every ultrasound and even the video we have of you.
You were and will always be so loved. We miss you tremendously, Brynn.