Another Kind of Roller Coaster

I’ve been a slacker. I don’t have the IVF cycle to blame for my neurosis anymore, but I still feel like I am on a roller coaster.

Last Wednesday I got sick. The beans little reminder that they are there and growing. Then over the weekend my symptoms just about disappeared. I was nervous. I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. Am I still pregnant?

Monday night, I started spotting. I freaked out and M offered to run to CVS at 10:30pm to buy some pregnancy tests. I knew that they would probably be positive not matter what was happening, but I also needed something to hold on to to get my through the night. By the time I took the test, the spotting had stopped. There were still two lines. Luckily, I had my second u/s with the RE the next morning. I really had no idea what to expect, and to make matters worse, I was going alone.

The u/s went well. Both babies had nice strong heartbeats. Baby A was measuring exactly 8 weeks with a hb of 158 and Baby B (my little peanut) was measuring 7 weeks 3 days with a hb of 151. The Dr noted that I have a cyst/blood clot in my right ovary. At first, I think they were nervous that it could be ectopic but after some measurements, they seemed less concerned, but still wanted me to go to a radiologist to confirm. I was relieved to hear that at least the babies were ok and we were “graduating” to an OB!

M and I were able to see the new OB the next day. I actually switched doctors after finding out we were having twins. The new OB delivers at a Level IV NICU. I pray that we won’t need it, but at the same time, I want to make sure we have the best care available. So after tons of forms and new patient stuff, we finally met the new OB. Turns out she has twins herself! Even though I had an u/s the previous day, Dr. Twins wanted to do another one. Fine by me! I am so happy M was there this time. It was crazy to see how much the beans grew in just two weeks. What was even better was that we got to hear the heartbeats. Just amazing.

Overall, Dr. Twins seemed very happy with the measurements and optimistic about things going forward. I have the NT scan and my 13w appointments scheduled. I don’t know how I am going to get through the next three weeks without seeing or hearing the babies.  I like the reassurance. M, on the other hand, seems to be more confident in what’s going on.

In the meantime, I am going to acupuncture once a week. It seems to be helping with the nausea and fatigue, not to mention it’s said to help reduce the risk of miscarriage. I have my follow up with the radiologist tomorrow morning and hope to get a sneak peak at the babies. Or at least have the radiologist tell me that they see the flickering heartbeats. That may buy me another week of sanity!

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Shy of 7 Weeks

I still can’t believe it. Tomorrow I will be 7 weeks pregnant with twins. I know how early that is, but I guess I didn’t really ever think we would get to this point. I feel like I have more now to lose than ever before. I am completely vulnerable.

I think of the only things that keeps me sane right now is all of the burping and gagging I am doing. Sexy, I know. I actually ended up getting sick late Saturday afternoon, but luckily I’ve managed to avoid that since. Yesterday was actually pretty good, but today has been hard. I’m scared I am going to gag in a meeting with my boss later this afternoon. That will be fun. Maybe I can blame food poisoning and go home and nap.

To be honest (and maybe it’s just paranoia), I am a little worried about Baby B. After looking at the u/s picture (don’t get too judgey, I see the babies every time I am in the kitchen since the u/s pics are hanging on the refrigerator). I feel like Baby B looks so much smaller than Baby A. I am hoping it’s because Baby B is snuggled up on the top of the sac. I know it’s all a waiting game right now…I am trying to stay optimistic and relax.

I’ve also decided to go back to acupuncture once a week during the first trimester. It’s believed that it can help reduce the risk of miscarriage. It’s also nice that the practitioner can now feel a “pregnancy pulse”. It may just be hogwash, but it makes me feel better.

So one more week before I get to see the babies again. Praying that the week flies and I get to see our two little ones wiggling around.

PUPO

M and I were at the clinic waiting to get the report. Dr. L came out and told us that we would have to try again because nothing made it to Day 5. I looked at him and asked if he was kidding and told him it was a mean joke. He wasn’t kidding and started talking about the next steps. M wasn’t interested in doing it again and I just started crying.

Then I woke up. Ugh, it was only 2am. I still had another 5 hours before I would know how our baseball team was doing!

M and I drove separately because I had set up acupuncture appointments before and after the transfer. On my way in, my phone rang and my heart stopped. I knew it was Dr L. What I didn’t know was what he was going to tell me….2 hours before the transfer. I picked up and told him I hoped he only had good news for me. He did. All 9 embryos made it! Some naturally slowed down, but thats expected. We had two early blastocysts, one grade A (Seamus) and one grade B (Schatzi). We could transfer those, and keep an eye on the rest. Dr. L suspects we will have one more to freeze. I called M and told him the news. After I told him, I said you don’t sound happy. He said I was scared because you called. I guess it’s normal not to want to get a call that early on such a big day.

M and I got to check out the blastocysts before the transfer. You could totally tell the difference between the A and B, but the Dr. on call said that he thinks that the B will become an A later today, it was just a little slower to develop.

The transfer itself went well. We waited the 5 minutes then we were discharged with instructions- bed/couch rest for 24 hours, light activity (but no sex or orgasm) for the next 4 days. Before we left, the team gave us what I hope to be the first of many baby pictures.

photo-4

I went to my second acupuncture session and M headed home and picked up lunch on the way. He had to go to work later, but before he left he told me to relax and be a good incubator. He has a way with words, huh? Believe me, I am encouraging Seamus and Schatzi to stay put!

For the first time in my life, I am pregnant…until proven otherwise. Now we just wait!