Anxiety Attack

You guys I close to being on the verge of tears and my heart is pounding. Seriously, my heart rate is 95 right now typing this out.

I am so scared for tomorrow’s ultrasound. Sunday night I got sick, yesterday I felt ok and today I have some mild cramps. My “symptoms” are all over the place and come and go and don’t seem as bad as they did when I was pregnant with the girls. Maybe it was because it was twins? Girls?

All I know is that I am preparing myself for the worst tomorrow. I am so scared that I am going to get there and the RE say the words no one ever should hear “sorry there is no heartbeat”. IF and multiple loss PTSD is real.



12 thoughts on “Anxiety Attack

  1. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. If it makes you feel any better, I had much more nausea and symptoms with twins girls than with a singleton boy pregnancy. Will be thinking of you, try to get some sleep tonight if you can. xoxo

  2. Praying for you and hugging you so tight from afar right now. I know how much this sucks. I know the pure terror you feel when it should be something joyous. The way RPL taints our experience.

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I will be with you in spirit hoping all goes well with your little one.

    Also, I didn’t have many symptoms at all, very minimal nausea and only on occasion, I am also with a singleton boy. All pregnancies are different, and symptoms don’t make sense.

    Super hugs.

      • It’s hard to be rational when we have gone through these things. I mean, I only recently (34 weeks now) have accepted that we are likely to have this baby and take him home. Even though betas were good, when in losses they weren’t on track, even after a first heartbeat, and a second heartbeat and perfect anatomy scans. Even with all the evidence pointing towards good, it is hard not to worry. But today everything is good, you had good betas, first scan, heartbeat. Things have been going perfect, and I am hopeful for you. Good luck tomorrow.

  3. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I barely slept the night before my first ultrasound. It’s so sad how loss makes us this way. Wishing you all the luck. Xx

  4. Hormones ebb and flow. Remember that. And twins would def have made you feel sicker. I used to check out google for pregnancy meditations. There are some specifically for those who have suffered from loss. I also had pregnancy mantras stuck around the place so I could think positively. It really did help. Hang in there. Tomorrow is nearly here. Hoping with everything that things will be just perfect for you. I feel like this is your little miracle with the way it came about and all so I feel like it HAS to stick. X

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