Another week down 

I called my RE the other week since my new OB/MFM couldn’t see me right away. They were nice enough to let me come in for another scan.

Here is baby Apollo at 9w1d-


I got to see him wiggle around and arch his back. I’m think it’s a boy by the way. Everything looked good, measuring 9w and HB was 171.

Today, M and I heard the HB using the Doppler at home. It definitely made me feel a little better. He’s hanging out on the left side just like H did. 

I won’t see the OB for another week so I’m at least glad I know to (hopefully) find him again for extra reassurance. 

I also talked to my RE and got a name of a clinical phsycologist for my anxiety and denial. I’m still scared to believe we will have another child come May. I’m physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted right now. I don’t know if it’s just typical first trimester stuff or more than that but all I want to do is lay in bed and watch bad tv alone. 

I’m hoping the next few weeks improve. 

Scan update

After my anxiety attack, I ended up getting sick yesterday late afternoon.

So I felt a little better going into to the appointment today. 

After a seriously long wait, we were finally called back. The tech zoomed right over the sac and I could see a a glimpse of the baby but didn’t see that heart flutter. She finally zoomed in and I saw it and could breath again.

A very strong 170 beats per minute. Apollo even measured 2 days ahead at 8w4d! 

I really can’t speak more highly about the techs and nurse at the office. They were so happy and printed a ton of pictures for us. 

She even did a 3D one. She told M not to get too excited, that’s only the umbilical cord to the left. 

Everything looks good. Here’s apollo hanging out upside down-


We have been officially released and now I’m just waiting to hear from the OB to make my appointment! 

Thank you all for the support and well wishes! 

Anxiety Attack

You guys I close to being on the verge of tears and my heart is pounding. Seriously, my heart rate is 95 right now typing this out.

I am so scared for tomorrow’s ultrasound. Sunday night I got sick, yesterday I felt ok and today I have some mild cramps. My “symptoms” are all over the place and come and go and don’t seem as bad as they did when I was pregnant with the girls. Maybe it was because it was twins? Girls?

All I know is that I am preparing myself for the worst tomorrow. I am so scared that I am going to get there and the RE say the words no one ever should hear “sorry there is no heartbeat”. IF and multiple loss PTSD is real.

 

Afternoon Sickness

For the last few days, I have actually felt ok (not great, but not puking) when I wake up. I am good up until right after lunch. I have been forcing myself to have some sort of breakfast and that seems to have helped.

I am starving by 11:30 and so I eat. Then it goes down hill. I am exhausted by 2pm and it’s not like I am even exerting myself. Around 3pm I start gagging. Around 5pm I am bloated as all hell and just feel like a balloon. And that is right around the time that I need to get H from school. The last thing I feel like doing is cooking or dealing with food.

So dinner and bed time is a real struggle. I have the Diclegis but I haven’t taken it yet for a few reasons. While I am gagging and feel pukey, I have only thrown up twice. I am already tired, I am scared to see how bad I feel taking Diclegis. Also, I am sure it was a terrible coincidence but a day after I took it with Olo, I miscarried.

I still have one more week until the ultrasound. Could time go any slower?!?

 

7 weeks!

You guys, I’m sorry! I’ve been meaning to update but I feel like crap and am so tired. 

Looking at my phone at times makes me so sick. 

But as the title suggests, I am seven weeks pregnant today! 

I had my first ultrasound last Wednesday and we saw Apollo. One healthy looking bean measuring right on track with a heartbeat of 112. 

I’ve gotten sick twice and have been gagging quite a bit. 

Even with the nausea, major bloat and the full boobs it still doesn’t feel real. This is the furthest we’ve gotten since Harper and Brynn and I’m scared shitless.

Every time I go to the bathroom I anticipate seeing blood. Using Prometrium twice a day definitely doesn’t help that feeling. 

The next appointment isn’t until next Wednesday which is so far away! 

Please send us lots of healthy sticky vibes!