Ain’t Too Proud to Beg

Textbook cycle, people. Ovulated on cd 14 and got my period 13 days later. 

That being said this marks the beginning of the end, our 5th and final cycle. 

I called my nurse to let her know we are ready to start this last cycle. I have a mock transfer on Wed and a HSG on Friday. After that I wait for a positive OPK and will start estrogen patches. For those who have done an Estrogen Priming protocol, can you tell me about it? Mine has me taking Ganirelix on the patches, does that seem normal?

Speaking of patches, I asked my nurse if she knew how much they were since I’ve never used them before. She said she had a new box in the office that I could have. Score! I was like, in that case, if you any donated meds please let me know, I would be glad to take them. She said she will see what else she can find. After 4 cycles, I think she gets how damn expensive this has been. And every box of meds helps. 

Hoping for an easy mock, clear HSG, and maybe even some meds this week! 



The loss of a child is a pain that all bereaved parents share and a degree of heartache, guilt and even loneliness that is impossible to understand without experiencing it first hand. 

On the day we found about Brynn, after the ultrasound that day, we were basically sent on our way. I needed to get bloodwork but we weren’t given any resources or names of therapists who specialize in the loss of a child. 

M and  I stayed home from work for the rest of the week. But the following Monday, I had to force myself to get dressed and go to work like nothing happened. 

Why am I telling you this? 

Because I wanted to share a resource with you-

Live Evermore is a new organization which will provide tools to parents and families who have suffered the loss of a child. 

I actually shared my story and found it very therapeutic. You can read it here-

I know I should eventually find someone to talk to about losing Brynn. Even at two years later, I don’t think I have really dealt with how losing her has effected me. I will. Eventually. 

Still Here…Still Struggling

There were two pregnancy announcements within the last few weeks. Hooray for fertile lucky people.

I, on the other hand, have started a new cycle. Today is CD7 and I just bought some OPKs. I’ve started my new regime of pre-natals, vit D, DHEA, and melatonin and also started trying to get my fat a** to the gym three days a week.

M is also taking his supplements and working out.

I am not really sure if any of it makes a difference to be honest.

We should probably talk about when we want to do our last cycle. We need a lot of the blood work repeated again, and I am supposed to be getting a HSG before I start again. I should get my period again in early Aug so I guess that is when we will start prepping and maybe complete the cycle by Sept/Oct. It sounds so far away but it’s July already. How did that happen? I am lacking motivation to start again. I am not sure if it’s fear or I am just running out of energy pretending to be hopeful.