I guess today is a good day to reflect upon the last year and look forward to the next.
Last year was a major rollercoaster.
Last NYE, M and I went to a friend’s house. We had recently announced I was pregnant with twins, so everyone was very excited to see us. Before we left the house, I made M take a picture of me in front of our Christmas tree. We joked that next year we would bring the babies back to our friends’ house.
M’s birthday was in February. I wanted to give him a great gift- seeing his girls. I purposefully scheduled an ultrasound on his birthday so he could come and seem them bouncing around. For reasons we may never understand, that was the day we learned Brynn passed away.
The next few weeks were a blur. I took off of work and barely left the house. I hated knowing that I was still carrying Brynn. I realize how incredibly awful that must sound. However looking back, I almost am glad I held on to her as long as I did. It gave me some more time to say goodbye.
We had about 13 more ultrasounds until I delivered Harper in May. I basically lived week to week. There was no reason to think anything would go wrong, but I didn’t want to take that chance. I was too scared.
The closer we got to May, the more anxious I became. Her delivery had some bumps but soon enough she was in our arms.
The last seven months have flown by and have gone by slowly all at the same time. She amazes me every single day. She has doubled her birth weight and then some. She sits like a champion and loves blowing raspberries. She cracks up when we sing “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” and hates oatmeal (it makes her gag).
I still tear up sometimes when I sing “You Are My Sunshine” to her. I am getting better about it, though.
In 2015, M and I hope to welcome another child. No, I am not pregnant (at least that I know of!) but we would love another little miracle.
I hope you all have a very Happy New Year!