Learning Curve

I am still learning how to be pregnant.

I feel like I struggle to eat. Very little sounds good and get bored of the same stuff. The problem is if I don’t eat, I feel like crap. And little things like snacks are just an effort. I swear I don’t mean to be whiney, I just am lost on what to eat.

Since I take Synthroid, I am not supposed to eat or drink (anything besides water) for at least an hour after that. That’s not the best way to start the day. Yesterday I made the mistake of eating a big breakfast (mmm bagel with cream cheese and chocolate milk) so by the time lunch rolled around I wasn’t hungry. I forced myself to eat fruit and chips. Ok, so that’s not really healthy, but I just didn’t want anything. Anyway, it wasn’t good enough and neither were the stupid fiber one bar or yogurt I had as snacks since I ended up throwing up at the end of the day. Thankfully, I was one of the last people at work so no one was around to witness that.

After a fun filled day of work, I went home and later discovered I was bleeding/spotting. I freaked out and of course Dr. Google only provides so much comfort. There are so many sad unfair stories out about miscarriages. The spotting stopped and then started again this morning. This morning was especially fun since I puked in addition to worrying about the spotting. I called the OB’s office and was able to get an appointment.

The Dr. who saw me couldn’t find where the bleeding was coming from, but did a full scan of the babies (she kept calling them kiddos, sorta cute) and they looked fine. Both had good hbs and were measuring ok. Baby A measured exactly 10weeks with a hb of 162 and Baby B measured 9w4d with a hb of 176. I think I will create a new page for this stuff and pictures so it’s not in everyone’s faces.

Baby B is still smaller, but not anything crazy to be a red flag…yet. The Dr said we just need to keep a close eye on them. I told M Baby A is hogging all of the food.

Maybe I just have small babies? Or maybe I am not eating enough or good enough? I wonder if I can blame my thryoid? So many unknowns.

 

At least I walked out of the office knowing that today the babies look good. And a prescription for Zolfran.

 

 

9 Weeks Down!

Tomorrow is a big day for us! Our little kumquats will be 10 weeks and officially fetuses! This means I get to stop the progesterone, estrogen and aspirin. Woohoo! Well, I may extend the progesterone for a few more days just to be safe.

Last night, I asked M if he could believe we are a couple of days away from reaching 10 weeks. I feel like it flew by….maybe not the days, but the weeks. M think it’s gone by slowly since he’s been anxious to reach the “next” step. He’s right. There are so many milestones that we need to reach before we get to hold our babies for the first time.

 I wonder if most “normal” (as in women not faced with infertility) feel like that? Or do they just think positive test means healthy baby. The one thing that infertility and IVF has taught me is to expect the unexpected. There is no “textbook” anything.

Every u/s that I’ve had, I’ve held my breath until I can see the tech’s face reveal things are ok. That’s followed by a deep sigh of relief when I see the babies’ hearts flicker. Last Monday was no different. Even though it had only been a week since the OB appointment, I was still nervous going to the radiologist. Thankfully, everything looked fine- including the cyst.  I was able to see how much the babies have grown in just a week. They continue to measure pretty much on track and have strong hbs (both in the 170s).

I am trying to be positive and view my yakking and random round ligament pains as signs that the babies are doing their thing. Yet it’s hard not to worry. I wish I had a portable u/s machine at home.

Two more weeks until we get to see the babies again. At that point they will the size of a lime and I will definitely need new pants!

Another Kind of Roller Coaster

I’ve been a slacker. I don’t have the IVF cycle to blame for my neurosis anymore, but I still feel like I am on a roller coaster.

Last Wednesday I got sick. The beans little reminder that they are there and growing. Then over the weekend my symptoms just about disappeared. I was nervous. I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. Am I still pregnant?

Monday night, I started spotting. I freaked out and M offered to run to CVS at 10:30pm to buy some pregnancy tests. I knew that they would probably be positive not matter what was happening, but I also needed something to hold on to to get my through the night. By the time I took the test, the spotting had stopped. There were still two lines. Luckily, I had my second u/s with the RE the next morning. I really had no idea what to expect, and to make matters worse, I was going alone.

The u/s went well. Both babies had nice strong heartbeats. Baby A was measuring exactly 8 weeks with a hb of 158 and Baby B (my little peanut) was measuring 7 weeks 3 days with a hb of 151. The Dr noted that I have a cyst/blood clot in my right ovary. At first, I think they were nervous that it could be ectopic but after some measurements, they seemed less concerned, but still wanted me to go to a radiologist to confirm. I was relieved to hear that at least the babies were ok and we were “graduating” to an OB!

M and I were able to see the new OB the next day. I actually switched doctors after finding out we were having twins. The new OB delivers at a Level IV NICU. I pray that we won’t need it, but at the same time, I want to make sure we have the best care available. So after tons of forms and new patient stuff, we finally met the new OB. Turns out she has twins herself! Even though I had an u/s the previous day, Dr. Twins wanted to do another one. Fine by me! I am so happy M was there this time. It was crazy to see how much the beans grew in just two weeks. What was even better was that we got to hear the heartbeats. Just amazing.

Overall, Dr. Twins seemed very happy with the measurements and optimistic about things going forward. I have the NT scan and my 13w appointments scheduled. I don’t know how I am going to get through the next three weeks without seeing or hearing the babies.  I like the reassurance. M, on the other hand, seems to be more confident in what’s going on.

In the meantime, I am going to acupuncture once a week. It seems to be helping with the nausea and fatigue, not to mention it’s said to help reduce the risk of miscarriage. I have my follow up with the radiologist tomorrow morning and hope to get a sneak peak at the babies. Or at least have the radiologist tell me that they see the flickering heartbeats. That may buy me another week of sanity!