I still can’t believe it. Tomorrow I will be 7 weeks pregnant with twins. I know how early that is, but I guess I didn’t really ever think we would get to this point. I feel like I have more now to lose than ever before. I am completely vulnerable.
I think of the only things that keeps me sane right now is all of the burping and gagging I am doing. Sexy, I know. I actually ended up getting sick late Saturday afternoon, but luckily I’ve managed to avoid that since. Yesterday was actually pretty good, but today has been hard. I’m scared I am going to gag in a meeting with my boss later this afternoon. That will be fun. Maybe I can blame food poisoning and go home and nap.
To be honest (and maybe it’s just paranoia), I am a little worried about Baby B. After looking at the u/s picture (don’t get too judgey, I see the babies every time I am in the kitchen since the u/s pics are hanging on the refrigerator). I feel like Baby B looks so much smaller than Baby A. I am hoping it’s because Baby B is snuggled up on the top of the sac. I know it’s all a waiting game right now…I am trying to stay optimistic and relax.
I’ve also decided to go back to acupuncture once a week during the first trimester. It’s believed that it can help reduce the risk of miscarriage. It’s also nice that the practitioner can now feel a “pregnancy pulse”. It may just be hogwash, but it makes me feel better.
So one more week before I get to see the babies again. Praying that the week flies and I get to see our two little ones wiggling around.
So today was the big day. It was Ultrasound Day.
I had terrible dreams and woke up several times last night. Of course DC traffic sucked and we were running late. Only adding to my anxiety.
Once we got there, we were called back within 5 minutes. Same drill as all of the other ultrasounds. Undress from the waist down and hop on the table and wait. Dr. L and a tech came in and asked how I was feeling.
I just said I will let you know in a few minutes. I was nervous. What if there was a blighted ovum (my newest fear) or what if we couldn’t see a heartbeat.
I had no idea what I was really looking at. All of the other times, we focused on my ovaries and how many follicles I had. This was new. Then the tech rolled over what looked like a sac.
But she kept going. And then it looked like another one. Dr. L said they just wanted to get a big picture of what was going on….torture! He finally said “It looks like we have twins!” I started tearing up and my heart was racing. Dr. L said he wanted to just make sure not all three stuck. I honestly think he was a little nervous! If you remember, during the transfer he gave us only a 40% chance of success and a super low chance of triplets.
The tech started to zoom in so we could get a closer look. Right now the babies are measuring right on track and things look good. We were even able to see the little flicker of the heartbeats. So incredible.
Once the tech was done and left so I could get dressed (and process it all!), I looked at M and asked how he was feeling. His response: “Shit just got real”.
I am excited and scared to death! I want to thank everyone for their support and prayers.
As Dr. L said, we just got to the edge of the woods but this is a great first step.
Here are the beans:
This past week has been a blur.
I still don’t feel like it’s completely sunken in. I am used to going to the RE’s and waiting for results. And I can research like it’s my job to find out what’s “normal” or “ideal” . That part is normal. What’s not normal is thinking that this is real and I am pregnant.
I’ve had three betas since getting the first positive HPT.
17DPO: 487 (DT 43.59)
20DPO: 1,545 (DT 43.23)
At least the little bean is consistent! Now that I feel a little more comfortable, M and I will share the news with our parents. Is it bad that we’ve kept it a secret this long ?
The next big hurdle is the first ultrasound in 11 days. I am going to try not to think about it and stay away from the internet. No good can come of worrying about the “what-ifs” right now.
We are officially pregnant.
I was able to go in for my beta this morning. At 10dp5dt, my beta is 227.
I go back Friday and am keeping my fingers crossed that we get another strong number. I am not sure it’s completely sunken in yet to be honest. I know all about the IVF process and what numbers mean, what’s “normal” and how things should progress. This being pregnant part is all new territory though, but I am enjoying every moment of it.
Is it possible to become more neurotic over night?
I woke up several times last night and looked at the clock to see how much longer I had to wait to POAS.
Around 5:30 I gave in and snuck into the bathroom. Luckily, M is a sound sleeper. Wait, that may be a problem later on. Stop. Can not jinx this….
The only “symptom” I have is that I’m hungry but nothing sounds good. And after a few bites I’m full and not satisfied. No clue if it has anything to due with pregnancy or just excitement/anxiety.
Please keep the sticky vibes coming!! I really hope the line continues to darken and our betas look good.
I seriously am going to be useless at work all week. Oh well!