This time last year was crunch time and I was in wedding planning hell. Most of the emails to M or friends were about wedding songs, cake flavors, centerpieces, guests lists, and staying on budget. It felt like so much work! Yes, I had a lot of support, but no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. As a little girl, you dream of this day and want it to be perfect.
Every once in a while when I was overwhelmed, I would forget about the wedding and focus on the honeymoon. I didn’t want to deal with the details/stress of the wedding, I just wanted to enjoy finally being married and on our honeymoon!
The wedding was and wasn’t perfect. Sure, there were glitches along the way, but no one really noticed. And if they did, we didn’t hear about it. I felt like I stressed about the dumbest things over the year and it didn’t make a difference in the long run. I doubt anyone remembers what our invitations looked like or what ceremonial music was played. But what was perfect was that we had our family and friends stand by us as we promised to love one another forever, no matter what.
The honeymoon was a different kind of perfect. M and I were able to exhale. We were finally able to relax and just enjoy being married.
Looking back at the last year brings me hope for the next year. Here’s what I mean.
All of this TTC and infertility crap is like planning a wedding. As a little girl, you imagine having a family just the same way as you imagined your wedding day. Except this part of your storybook life is so much different than what your 5 year old self ever imagined.
Rather than flowers, and invitations, I email M about various supplements, procedures, and a whole different kind of budget. I don’t have to meet with my wedding photographer, I have to meet with my RE. When the hurdles and heartache are too much, I daydream about baby names rather than honeymoon spots.
M and I are saying “I do, no matter what” to a family. And just like at the wedding, we are surrounded by our family and friends supporting us.
So, in a year from now (God willing), when M and I are holding our baby, we can finally exhale and enjoy being parents, knowing that every part of the process was well worth it.